Back in September of 2009 i found myself perusing craigslist for new friends and also reading dating profiles just out of boredom more than anything. i came across a profile under "strictly platonic" that was a young man who recently moved to Buffalo that was trans. i saw the pics he included and my heart just went out to him. so i wrote him so we could be friends, after a good month or more of emails back and forth i finally let my "creepy people off craigslist guard down " and decided to meet him. i expected a man dressed as a woman because thats what he implied he was, but instead i met this tall drink o'water hot athletic man. blonde hair, blue eyes just all around dreamfest. it was very confusing because i just thought how is it that this ken doll of a guy wants to be a woman doesn't he realize how much being a woman sucks ha ha. so we hung out and talked he was very mature for his ripe age of 20 years. we started calling each other on the phone regularly which is weird in this day and ages text marathon. i remember thinking wow phone calls how 80's but i'm into it. we hung out several times and i found myself being attracted being pulled into the mystery that he is/was. by halloween we went to a party and he grabbed my face and kissed me it was so nice i remembered thinking how innocent and high school the kiss was cause here i am this 30 year old woman being all coy and shy. he just manned up and took charge of pursuing me. which was nice cause it had been a long time since anyone had. i have to tell you that in the time we dated he dressed as man 98% of the time, so i was attracted to him that way. when he dressed as woman which was rare he changed he acted like a 12 year old girl which was odd and made me feel weird. i just couldn't wrap my head around the situation even though i was supportive and helpful. i even met his family i spent the holidays with them and i just adored his parents what wonderful people. i'm sure your wondering what was the sex like well it was nice at first pretty normal and loving. cause he is like me in the way that he allows himself to love someone which is such an amazing quality. i feel that even if something ends i still like to know i gave it a real shot. its nice to have those moments where you just look into someone's eyes and kiss them and assure them that they are amazing. cause we all are amazing in our uniqueness and our weakness. eventually he started to take steps in furthering his transition first electrolysis then came the meds...the hormones..or the mones as they call them. things changed and very abruptly. the only way i can explain it is take a man on steroids and give him a "period". its like all the emotions of a hysterical woman and mix it with a bodybuilders fury. it was scary at times, crying , screaming, punching a wall scary. i wanted to be a help i even went to a therapy session with him. i was very honest with the therapist on how confusing it was for me cause heres a guy dressed as a guy eating food like a wolverine and leaving the toliet seat up yet wants me to address him as her. she surprisingly agreed with my perception. i started to advertise my business as a photographer and started getting work and soon enough i started choosing my work over hanging with him. 1. because i love what i do 2. cause every time i was around him it was drama. the type of drama i had a 17, and i just couldn't go back to it. so i decided it best to end the relationship. i took several months off from talking to him, i think i should be correct now and say her. because i want to respect her choice and be a friend. but for a while i couldn't, it felt like a death of this man that swept me off my feet. i recently contacted Jess to see how she was finally all of my feelings evaporated so it was ok for me to be in her life again. she is doing well and in a new relationship that suits her more than i did. i'm glad i really am, i love when someone who was hurt and broken comes back to life reemerging as themselves with a new desire to live. hearing her laugh and joke with her new girlfriend put me at ease and made me remember that everything happens for a reason. love may not last with someone but it may prepare you for the next love coming into your life. i don't regret the time we shared i look back on it fondly and think wow that happened and it was really fucking cool. i'm also glad i got to take pic's of her in the very begining stages of her journey as well as the great pic's of us when we were super excited that we even just knew each other.
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