Today was a great day. i have been feeling really down lately because i haven't been getting photo work, been advertising like hell, promoting, calling people, posting on craigslist and facebook but no responses. so i have just felt like poopy times, less than zero. My friend Rachel asked me if i could take some photos of her and her family. i said sure i'll give you my super friend cheapo rate "cause she has made me dinners, cupcakes, and modeled for me a bunch of times" then she said well i should pay you cause my brother is autistic so sometimes he doesn't listen and it can be really difficult. i thought to myself oh christ what have a signed myself up for, i started imagining this rain man guy running around yelling at me and swating my camera. it started sounding like a nightmare and the closer it got to me having to go to their home the more anxious i became. i pulled up and saw this red inviting quaint country home, flowers everywhere, tractors, gardening boots, just lovely. Rachel met me there and introduced me to her mother, this is going to sound so cliche' but they could have been sisters. her mom was blonde and bubbly with the same chaotic yet charming energy her daughter possesses. she walked me into her home first thing i noticed was how nicely it was decorated colored glass, fiesta china, antiques, hardwood floors, and dogs everywhere dogs. from tea cup mixed breed small dogs to a big black mastiff. they all had their own food dishes in sizes large , small, and teeny tiny. Rachel's mom was bright like a sunflower and quick like a laser beam as she swirled in circles talking a mile a minute to Rachel and without a breath making cutesy noises to the dogs aswell as showing me the remodeling that's not finished. then i noticed Jake sitting at the kitchen table looking at a small bowl of chips, quiet, just hanging out. no threat nothing scary nor difficult like what i had dreamt up. on my tour of the home i saw jakes room had this great wall of old tribal looking weapons "i'm obiviously not an archaeologist so thats the best description you'll get outta of me" and i thought wow how cool i really wanna get pic's of Jake infront of these if he'll let me. after walking around the house and the yard scoping out all the potential photo op areas i started thinking to myself this might be a decent shoot. So i started taking pic's of them in the kitchen, i really did just that no posing, nothing just observing them with my camera like a fly on a wall, the ladies didn't notice at all cause they were caught up in the web of words they were weaving back and forth, its interesting to be around because its like a ride they are on and your not invited and even if you were you couldn't break their mother daughter codes, it was like a new wavelength of communication. really even if i asked them to pose i got them to stay still for a fraction of a second. i shot pic's of them infront of the home, in the seemingly endless backyard, and i got to shoot pics of jake in his room. those are my favorites the only way he was difficult was because he would barely look in my direction, so i started showing him the pics on my camera as i shot them, and telling him how he looked like a movie star, cause to me he did. maybe i am a bleeding heart but i always feel a connection to people who are different its an instant attraction. i have no fear and feel this unspoken kinship with them. after he got used to my presence he looked my way and i got that perfect shot where you could see into his soul, it was the soul of someone who has lived beyond his years, he had the eyes of a wise old man, withered worn, yet educated and satisfied. he was darling and will be one of my most favorite subjects ever. Rachel's mother what a doll what a burst of pure sunshine she seemed like someone when faced with negativity that it would slide off of her like a drop of water, such a great energy she kissed Jake over and over again just giving him that attention and unconditional love that all kids need but not all of them get. i thought when i first met Rachel that she was an exceptional person a real gem smart, creative, quick, way beyond her years. being around her family everything i wondered about her was just explained without words. i got some really real feeling pic's just them being a family and me getting to record it, no fake smiles, or hard poses, just real happy loving wonderful people hanging out. towards the end of the shoot i asked Rachel if their was a private childhood thing her and Jake shared she was like yeah! the sign for I love you in sign language we always give that to each other, so one of the pic's above is them signing each other i found that really touching. the very last shot of the day was where Jake was facing the trees in the yard and his mother and sister are far in the distance, this is one of my fav pic's of all time, i can't even explain why i just feel like it's a strong image, Jake looking bigger than them, tall and independent. i felt very proud to have photographed them today just being there. i felt like if i was ever a mom i wanted to be that kind, loving, funny, excited and involved in all my new projects and vast interests. today i felt rich and nourished i felt that i may be broke, the work might not come as fast as i want it to, but every time i pick up a camera for free or for a small fee i feel like the wealthiest person alive and i know it's all because of my subjects and the utter satisfaction of seeing what i experience take on a permanent still life through a photograph.
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